What shitsurei shimasu really means (失礼します)

Shitsurei shimasu (失礼します) is one of the hardest-working phrases in polite Japanese. You say it when you walk into a room, when you leave one, when you end a phone call, and when you go home before your colleagues. It works like “excuse me” or “pardon me”. The kanji are more honest: 失, to lose, and 礼, courtesy. 失礼 is a lapse in manners, so 失礼します means “I’m about to be a little rude”, an apology made before the rudeness happens.

What the kanji say

失 (shitsu, ushinau) means to lose, or to let slip. Its old form is explained as a hand (手) with something falling from it: a thing slipping out of your grasp. As a verb it’s 失う (ushinau), to lose, and it starts words for things that went wrong, like 失敗 (shippai), a failure, and 失恋 (shitsuren), a broken heart.

礼 (rei) means courtesy, manners, a bow, or thanks. It’s the simplified form of 禮, which puts 礻, an altar, beside 豊, here an old character meaning “rite”. Together they meant performing rites at an altar, and from there 礼 came to mean proper behaviour in general. You’ll find it in お礼 (orei), thanks, and 礼儀 (reigi), manners.

So 失礼 (shitsurei) is “losing courtesy”: a breach of manners. The します (shimasu) at the end is the polite form of する (suru), to do. Put together, 失礼します says, quite literally, “I’m committing a rudeness”.

Is it really “I’m losing my manners”?

The video translates it as “I’m losing my manners”, which is a fair, playful reading of the kanji. In real life, though, nobody is losing anything. The phrase is a way of owning up to a small intrusion. Walking into an office, you’re interrupting. Hanging up, you’re ending the conversation. Leaving early, you’re walking out on people who are still working. Naming that rudeness out loud is what makes it polite.

The video’s “by leaving before you” is the office version, and it has a fuller form of its own: お先に失礼します (osaki ni shitsurei shimasu), “excuse me for leaving before you”. The verb 失礼する can mean simply “to leave while others stay behind”, because that, in itself, counts as a little impolite.

How to use it

• 失礼します。

  Shitsurei shimasu.

  Excuse me. (going into a room)

• お先に失礼します。

  Osaki ni shitsurei shimasu.

  Sorry to leave before you. (leaving work)

• では、失礼します。

  Dewa, shitsurei shimasu.

  Goodbye, then. (ending a phone call)

• 失礼ですが、お名前は？

  Shitsurei desu ga, onamae wa?

  Excuse me, may I ask your name?

• 失礼しました。

  Shitsurei shimashita.

  I'm sorry. (after a small slip)

• At the door. Knock, open the door and say 失礼します: going into a teacher’s office, a meeting room or a job interview. Say it again on your way out.
• Leaving work. The usual reply to お先に失礼します is お疲れ様です (otsukaresama desu), “thanks for your hard work”.
• Before a personal question. 失礼ですが (shitsurei desu ga), “I don’t mean to be rude, but…”, softens a question about someone’s name, age or job.
• Looking back. 失礼しました is the past tense: a quick “sorry” for a slip you’ve already made, like calling someone by the wrong name.
• Even more polite. Shop staff and business callers often say 失礼いたします (shitsurei itashimasu), with the humble verb いたす (itasu) in place of する.
• When something really is rude, 失礼な！ (shitsurei na) is the Japanese for “How rude”.

Words with the same kanji

Remember it

Picture your best manners (礼) as something you carry carefully in one hand. As you edge out of the door, they slip (失) through your fingers. 失礼します: excuse me, I’m being a little rude.

The kanji in this lesson

Tap Draw it to watch the stroke order. Numbers show where each stroke starts.

Draw it

Draw it

Sources

• Wiktionary: 失礼
• Wiktionary: 禮 (character origin)
• Wiktionary: 失 (character origin)

Written by the Chirami team with the help of AI, then checked against JMdict and KANJIDIC2. How we write lessons. Spotted a mistake? Email support@brightsmilesolutions.org.